A Survival Guide for Divorce After 50
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The American Psychological Association says that rates of gray divorce – a term used for divorces among people over 50 – doubled in the period between 1990 and 2010. While this increase has slowed down a bit, more people than ever are dealing with divorce after the age of 50.
Ending a marriage after 50 brings a different weight to divorce proceedings than with younger couples. You may be wondering what happens to your retirement, whether you will have to go back to work, how you will manage on a single income, or whether life can feel full again. These are real and valid concerns. Thankfully, there is hope for more than just surviving a gray divorce. Many go on to build lives they genuinely love.
In the meantime, a Naperville gray divorce attorney can help you take care of your next steps so you can come out of this process on top.
How Is Divorce After 50 Different From Other Divorces?
Finances, for one. Younger people typically have a lot of working years ahead. At 50 or older, retirement is closer. Pensions, Social Security, and long-term care tend to be more urgent issues.
The emotional side is also different. You may have built your identity around this marriage for many, many years. Losing that partnership at this stage of life can feel disorienting in a way that is hard to explain to people who have not been through it.
Four Practical Steps to Survive a Gray Divorce
Below are four steps that will help you get through this process with your finances and sanity intact. Remember, throughout the entire process, do your best to keep your emotions from driving the boat. Be open and courteous when communicating with your spouse and their attorney. Remember that right now, your priority is to take care of your future and make sure you get a fair settlement.
Get Your Legal Ducks in a Row
Getting the legal and financial pieces in place is your first priority. Everything after will go more smoothly if you find a good lawyer and make sure a few things are in order.
Go through all time-sensitive paperwork with your lawyer and double-check submission deadlines. Make sure all your information is up-to-date with the 2026 divorce protocols.
Inventory your finances. Talk to your lawyer about all potential income sources or benefits you may be entitled to (spousal support, Social Security, etc.). If you were the primary earner in your marriage, discuss any support obligations you might end up having.
Talk with your lawyer about your retirement accounts. Illinois law 750 ILCS 5/503 treats retirement accounts accumulated during a marriage as marital property subject to division. That means a 401(k) or pension your spouse built over decades may be split – and so may yours. These accounts often need specialized paperwork as well (like a Qualified Domestic Relations Order).
Double-check your health insurance situation, especially if you were covered under your spouse's plan and are not yet eligible for Medicare. Make sure wills, beneficiary designations, and powers of attorney are up-to-date.
Rethink Your Financial Picture
Living within a budget becomes even more important when you lose a chunk of your income. Refer back to the inventory you did with your lawyer and decide what makes sense financially, now and in the future. This could mean:
- Reducing excess spending
- Downsizing your living situation
- Selling property and assets
Revisit your budget often during and after your divorce so you can make adjustments as needed.
Think About Your Career Options
Gray divorce brings up some interesting career decisions. Some people find it makes more sense to take a job with good health benefits or aggressive retirement savings programs over one that pays more. For others, this is the right time to change fields entirely.
There is no one right answer. Talk to your lawyer and possibly a financial planner for specific guidance.
Take Care of Yourself Emotionally
Grief over the end of your marriage is normal. At some point in your divorce, you need to give yourself time and space to feel it. At the same time, there are things you can do to maintain a healthier emotional self:
- Stay connected to people. Isolation is where feelings like guilt and shame live. Stay open to friends and family, and maybe consider joining new clubs or groups to expand your circle.
- Take care of your physical health, even when you don’t feel like it. Sleep, nutrition, exercise, and regular medical care are all vital for folks over 50.
- Addictive or numbing behaviors will only make the process harder and more drawn out. Use healthy coping mechanisms, and consider talking to a therapist or counselor.
- Don’t rush into a new relationship. Give yourself time to rediscover who you are outside of the marriage before bringing someone new into your life.
- If you’re feeling extremely lonely, consider getting a pet. Having a little extra life in your space and responsibility to something outside yourself can be exactly the push you need to get through this difficult transition.
Call a DuPage County Divorce Attorney Today
Gray divorce is challenging, but it’s something you can navigate and get right with the right support. At Divorce Over 50 - Goostree Law Group, our compassionate lawyers are ready to help you do just that. Call our Naperville divorce lawyer at 630-634-5050 today to schedule your free consultation.
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